So today Graydancer, the ninja sex poodle and ronin of love of  Ropcast.net fame, posted a rant in his podcast that I’ve been waiting for since Sunday night of Black Rose.

You can find said “rant” HERE.

Now, I don’t know about you, but when I think “rant” I think Denis Leary and Lewis Black, not a well reasoned observation and conclusion to be responsible about what one teaches. So, on the “rant” front, kind of disappointing.

I’ll give you the Cliffs Notes for context, but you should listen to what he has to say on your own. His basic thesis is this: General Pansexual Kinky Events – such as Black Rose, TES-Fest, Dark Odyssey, etc – are not the place to teach suspension.

He gives several supporting evidence for this, such as poor control as to making sure that the people who come to the 2nd half of a class go to the 1st half. Another notable observation he makes is that people who don’t even know if they like rope at all are going to these classes, completely skipping over 101 and going right to grad school (my phrasing, not his).

Where I disagree is that the answer is (for him) to not teach rope suspension at these events at all.

My first reason for disagreeing is this – often these events are the only exposure people get beyond their tiny local scene to people who REALLY know what the fuck they are doing. It is REALLY difficult for the much group in the middle of Armpit, Virginia to afford the travel, lodging, and expenses of bringing out a BIG name to teach an all day suspension workshop. So individuals from those areas go to the big weekend events to learn all they can to bring back to the community.

Plus, though there are an increasing amount of big events, even rope specialty events, they are expensive. Most people can only afford ONE per year, if that. Often the choice to go to an event is mitigated by location (as in how much will it cost to get there AND how long will it take),who will be there (not just presenters, bu friends as well), if it caters to their interests, and if they can affords the price of admission, hotel, and food.

So, while it’s all well and good to say “I’m not teaching at pansexual events anymore”, all you are doing is penalizing the people who can’t afford Pansexual Event X AND Super Rope Ninja Event Y who crave this knowledge.

I think there is a better way to go about it.

When you propose a suspension class, or are asked to give a suspension class, be very firm about the time, requirements, and format. You need a minimum 4 hour block for the entire class, with NO late admittance? ASK FOR IT!

There is NOTHING that says that if a event wants you, they can’t cater to what YOU need to feel you have done an adequate job teaching the subject. I would go so far as saying, especially given the risky nature and physical demands of rope suspension, it is your responsibility as a teacher to be as clear and direct with what you need to deliver the class the event expects from you.

And if they say “well we can’t give you that much time?” You tell them, then I can’t teach people how to get someone up in the air. What you CAN teach is a “preparing for suspension” class that goes over all the things ‘ranted’ about in the podcast.
I.E. Make sure you LIKE rope first.
Try “flying” on the floor first.
Try seeing if you can handle being pulled just by someone holding the rope.
Seek out 1 on 1 hands on training.
And so on and so on.

What I am getting at is a suspensi0n class doesn’t HAVE to be about getting off the ground in fancy ancient secret ninja sex poodle ties. It can BE about the mindset needed. That you can get silly and still have it hot. Even the ties that can be used eventually for suspension rigging, but are pretty damn fun just wearing and using as handles.

(I mean, really, a drum harness alone had me going!)

So yes, I agree, there is a problem. And I agree with Mollena Williams that as long as conventions offer the “beginning rope suspension” type class in a 1.5 hour format, the problems will continue.

But I don’t think the answer is walking away from the game. I think responsible presenters need to demand a change in the rules.

Because irresponsible presenters will happily fill your shoes if you don’t.